New Shrek.movie -

(without looking up from her book) Go, Shrek.

Shrek. You stepped on a Lego last Tuesday and cried for twenty minutes. You need this.

PUSS IN BOOTS (grey-muzzled, wearing a tiny eye patch over one eye now, still dramatic) leaps onto the cart.

…that’s just accurate critique.

(He stands, groans audibly, one knee pops.)

But what if I’m too old for quests?

Here’s a concept for a new Shrek movie, written in the style of an official logline and opening scene tease. new shrek.movie

Beat.

(to a passing frog) You got mail? No. I got nothing . Not even a dragon scale in my mud bath anymore.

You analyze them, Shrek. Last week you said “that one had structural integrity but lacked tonal variety.” (without looking up from her book) Go, Shrek

He was never meant to be this comfortable.

…I cannot promise that.

That’s the problem, baby! You’re on your third oatmeal . You used to eat knights for breakfast! But now? Now you’re one bad back away from ordering a walking stick from the QVC catalog for ogres. You need this

What?

Twenty years after trading his swamp for peace and quiet, a restless and empty-nesting Shrek is dragged by Donkey on a chaotic road trip across the outer realms of Far Far Away to find a legendary “Funk-El” flower — only to discover that the real villain isn’t a lord or a fairy-tale monster, but middle-aged irrelevance itself.